Be Nice!

‘Twas the Nice! before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Rats however, are another story entirely. Not that Legion Bar HAS rats, but for our first couple installments of Nice! this summer, there was this old dude who came to our shows with a big, white pet rat on his shoulder. He used it as a conversation starter with some of our audience’s cuter females, no joke.

Truly though, YOU’D be the rat if you missed out on a Sunday night with the best FREE comedy show in town! Yes, the Brokelyn.com approved NICE!- the nicest comedy show ever- brings you vermin-free holiday cheer this Sunday, December 12th at 8pm @ Legion Bar! (That’s right off the G and the L!)

THIS MONTH’S LINEUP:

* MAX SILVESTRI! (You know Max from Vh1 and Details Magazine; you can catch him co-hosting the unparalleled Big Terrific every Wednesday @ Cameo!)

* JOHN FLYNN! (You know John from Caroline’s and The Moth; you can catch him as a regular panelist @ the Upright Citizens Brigade’s Nights of Our Lives!)

* KATEY HEALY-WURZBURG! (You know Katey as winner of the 2010 Upright Citizens Brigade 3 on 3 Improv Tournament; you can catch her performing terrific indie comedy all around New York City!)

* JULIA SEGAL! (You know Julia from Comic Strip Live and as the author of Feel Better Little Buddy: Animals with Casts (great stocking stuffer!); you can keep up to date with her shows & comedy @ juliasegal.tumblr.com!)

* KELLY AND LINDSEY! (You know Kelly Wallace-Barnhill and Lindsey Gentile as rising stars of the village comedy circuit; you can catch them hosting Back Door Comedy on Monday nights @ Professor Thom’s!)

Hosted by comedy’s favorite shoulder rats, DAN CHAMBERLAIN & HALLE KIEFER!

That lineup has some HOT HOLIDAY COMEDY, ready to seduce YOU at a top notch neighborhood venue, all for FREE! So come on out on SUNDAY THE 12TH for the best FREE show FREE that FREE FREE FREE has ever sprung you from your bed to see what was the matter.

They threw me off the hay truck about noon. I had swung on the night before, down at the border, and as soon as I got up there under the canvas, I went to sleep. I needed plenty of that, after three weeks in Tiajuana, and I was still getting it when they pulled off to one side to let the engine cool. Then they saw a foot sticking out and threw me off. I tried some comical stuff, but all I got was a dead pan, so that gag was out. They gave me a cigarette, though, and I hiked down the road to find something to eat.

HIKED ON DOWN THE ROAD TO LEGION BAR BEFORE KILLING YOUR HUSBAND, NO DOUBT. Say, what don’t we all make like Frank and spend a Sunday with the best FREE comedy show in town! Yes, the Brokelyn.com approved Nice!- the nicest comedy show ever- brings you two-fosted tales and potboiller belly laughs this Sunday, November 14th at 8pm @ Legion Bar! (That’s right off the G and the L!)

THIS MONTH’S LINEUP:

*WILL HINES! (You know Will from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and Derrick Comedy’s Mystery Team; you can catch him performing with The Stepfathers Friday nights @ 9PM @ UCB!)

*PAT BAER! (You know ECNY award winner Pat as a prolific performer about town; you can catch him hosting the Annual 3 on 3 Improv Tournament all month long @ Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre!)

*SASHEER ZAMATA! (You know Sasheer as a rising luminary of the New York stand up community; you can catch her performing with fearless indie comedy outfit Doppleganger all winter long!)

*JESS BURKLE! (You know Jess from Gotham Comedy Club and Comic Strip Live; you can peep him putting up daring theatre all around New York with art.party.theatre.company!)

AND A SUPER SPECIAL SECRET GUEST WHOA MAN WHOA!

Hosted by the John Garfield and Lana Turner of comedy, DAN CHAMBERLAIN & HALLE KIEFER!

That lineup has some SMOKEY NOIR ACTION, coming to a boil at a top notch neighborhood venue, all for FREE! So come on out on SUNDAY THE 14TH for the best FREE show FREE that FREE FREE FREE has ever bit your lip hard enough to draw blood.

“Every word I say, I mean it. Every single day, I feel it. But sometimes when you talk, it’s obvious you want to show it- so don’t blow it. Tell me what we got! Tell me it’s a lot, tell me it’s the real thing. Tell me not to change and always be the same, tell me that’s a good thing. It’s a good thing. Much like this bo-dacious night of free comedy.”

- Bo Bice

Say, why don’t the rest of you come do like Bo, and spend an autumn Sunday with the best FREE comedy show in town! Yes, the Brokelyn.com approved Nice!- the nicest comedy show ever- brings you Carrie Underwood calibre laughs for Bo Bice prices this Sunday, October 10th at 8pm @ Legion Bar! (That’s right off the G and the L!)

THIS MONTH’S LINEUP:

* ADRIENNE IAPALUCCI! (You know the New York Comedy Festival award-winning Adrienne from Caroline’s and Last Comic Standing; you can peep her through December at Friends with Benefits at the Diving Bell!

* RACHEL BLOOM! (You know Rachel from the Onion News Network, Upright Citizens’ Brigade Theatre, and her inescapably catchy single “Fuck Me Ray Bradbury”; you can catch her hosting Annette Funicello’s Beach Party every last Monday of the month @ National Underground!)

* BECKY FERREIRA! (You know Becky from the Upright Citizens’ Brigade Theatre and as a ferocious stand up about town; you can peep her hosting the terrific Rocket Talk @ National Underground- next installment October 25th!)

* MORGAN EVANS! (You know Morgan from The Huffington Post and Comix; you can catch him performing with unparalleled indie comedy group Dreamboat all around New York!)

AND A SUPER SPECIAL SECRET GUEST WHOA MAN WHOA!

Hosted by the Anwar and Vonzell of comedy, Dan Chamberlain & Halle Kiefer!

That lineup has some SMOOTH POP COUNTRY GROOVES, all strumming away at a top notch neighborhood venue, all for FREE! So come on out on SUNDAY THE 10TH for the best FREE show FREE that FREE FREE FREE has ever had it’s strip club cocaine arrest swept under the rug by the producers of a popular television program.

I seen hunderds of men come by on the road an’ on the ranches, with their bindles on their back an’ that same damn thing in their heads. Hunderds of them. They come, an’ they quit an’ go on; an’ every damn one of ‘em’s got a little piece of land in his head. An’ never a God damn one of ‘em ever gets it. Just like heaven. Everybody wants a little piece of lan’. I read plenty of books out here. Nobody never gets to heaven, and nobody gets no land. It’s just in their head. They’re all the time talkin’ about it, but it’s jus’ in their head. BUT WHAT’S NOT IN YOUR HEAD IS THIS GREAT NIGHT OF FREE COMEDY, GUYS.

Come spend an air-conditioned Sunday night with the best FREE comedy show in town- now Brokelyn.com approved! Nice!, the nicest comedy show ever brings to you fat laughs for lean days this Sunday, September 12th at 8pm @ Legion Bar! (That’s right off the G and the L!)

THIS MONTH’S LINEUP:

* EDITH ZIMMERMAN! (You know the esteemed Edith Zimmerman as a writer for the Huffington Post, the Awl, and Esquire magazine, and can catch her daily dispatches @ New York Magazine’s Vulture blog!)

* HODAPP & ROTHWELL! (You know Dan Hodapp and Natasha Rothwell as Champions of the Magnet Theater’s Improv Duo Tournament, and can catch them bringing their fast, character-smart show up and down the east coast all Autumn long!)

*BRIDGET FITZGERALD! (You know Bridget from Caroline’s, Comix, and the Upright Citizens’ Brigade Theatre; you can peep her fronting chamber-pop duo The Bridgets Fitzgerald all around New York this fall!)

* JASON SAENZ! (You know the Time Out NY approved Jason from Gotham Comedy Club and Caroline’s, and can catch him hosting the spectacular Too Cool For School comedy show Friday nights @ RedStar!)

* RILEY SOLONER! (You know the trill as hell Riley from RobotRiley.com and tremendous indie comedy group Boy Butter; you can catch him hosting Alternate Reality Thursday nights @ the Creek!)

AND A SUPER SPECIAL SECRET GUEST WHOA MAN WHOA!

with your hosts selling apples and pencils on the side of the road, Dan Chamberlain & Halle Kiefer!

That lineup is MANIFEST DESTINY IN ACTION, all holding court at a top notch neighborhood venue, all for FREE! So come on out on SUNDAY THE 12TH for the best FREE show FREE that FREE FREE AIR CONDITIONED FREE has ever accidentally killed a girl while trying to stroke her hair.

Now you gonna lemme see that mouse, or what?

We’re in the home stretch of summer, New York, which means we’ve all got to do our part to start milking these fine-weathered weekends for everything they’re worth. Can’t be bothered to think of the work week ahead? Then come spend an air-conditioned Sunday night with the best FREE comedy show in town- now Brokelyn.com approved!

Nice!, the nicest comedy show ever is THRILLED to bring you the most cubicle trashing, necktie burning edition EVER of our monthly show this Sunday, August 8th at 8pm @ Legion Bar! (That’s right off the G and the L!)

THIS MONTH’S NIGHTHAWK LINEUP:

*NINJA SEX PARTY! (You know Vimeo “Trophy of Awesomeness” winners Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian from their featured work with Funny or Die, CollegeHumor, and DailyMotion; catch their epic baroque-pop tetralogy “The Sacred Chalice” everywhere this summer!)

*ASIE MOHTAREZ! (You know Asie from Caroline’s, Comix, Pianos, and MTV, and can catch her reigning o’er the New York stand-up circuit all summer long!)

*SCOUT AND HANDSOME ROB! (You know Marcy Jarreau and Rob Penty from both the Magnet and Upright Citizens Brigade Theatres, and can catch Marcy this month @UCB in the hilarious new show Oh My God, I Heard You’re Dying!)

*FRANK HEJL! (You know Frank as a house performer at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and brilliant standup-about-town, and can catch his group Iron Ruckus hosting great indie comedy on the reg’ at Under St. Mark’s theatre!)

*INSIDE JOKE FILMS! (You know Chicago SnubFest Audience & Judge Choice winners Jon Braylock, Ramy Youssef, & Kyle Kolich from MTVu & FUSE, and can catch these college-favorite ragamuffins on an internet near you!)

AND A SUPER SPECIAL SECRET GUEST TO BE ANNOUNCED IN TIME!

with your hosts/comedians bumming cigarettes outside the 7-Eleven, Dan Chamberlain & Halle Kiefer!

That’s a top notch anti-authority lineup in a top notch neighborhood venue, all for FREE! So come on out on SUNDAY THE 8TH for the best FREE show FREE that FREE FREE AIR CONDITIONED FREE has ever snuck downstairs to watch TV after Mom and Dad went to bed. VACATION FOREVER!

It’s Summertime, and the living is easy- so long as “easy” means draping cold washcloths on your body in order get any sleep at night. Why not take a night off from the joys of sweat and shack up in the cool company of Brooklyn’s best FREE comedy show?

Nice!, the nicest comedy show ever is proud to present the COOLEST edition ever of our monthly show this Sunday, July 11th at 8pm @ Legion Bar! THIS MONTH’S INSANELY COOL LINEUP:

*MOLLY KNEFEL! (You know her from The Onion and The Huffington Post, and can catch her doing great comedy all summer @ Le Poisson Rouge!)

*JENN SCHATZ! (You know her from the film Splinterheads, and can catch her this summer in Adam McKay’s The Other Guys!)

*BENJONICA! (You know Benjamin Apple & Verónica Osorio from Late Night Interview and the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, and can catch Verónica this summer in the historical epic Taita Boves!)

*NATE KUSHNER! (You know him from A Week of Kindness and Movies vs. Humans, and can catch his new band Igloos on tour this summer!)

…with your hosts, the most cold-hearted comedians in New York, Dan Chamberlain & Halle Kiefer!

That’s an insanely cool lineup in an insanely well-air conditioned venue, all for FREE! And friends of Nice! know it wouldn’t be cool to forgo our regular SUPER SECRET* FUN GIVE-A-WAYs, so you can count on that too!

Come on out on SUNDAY THE 11TH for the best FREE AIR CONDITIONED show FREE that has FREE FREE AIR CONDITIONED FREE ever turned on a jukebox by punching it. NOW THAT’S COOL.

(*This will probably be ice cream sandwiches. But we’ll see.)

Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who performed at the show last night! My aunt thoroughly enjoyed it, and my friends who hate improv were literally crying with laughter by the end. You can all truly paint with all the colors of the wind. And to everyone who missed Dan in drag, well, let’s just say you really screwed up your whole life right there.

Ah, Spring! When a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of love, a young woman’s fancy turns EVEN FANCIER.

(Insert record scratch SFX, followed by Aretha Franklin’s “Respect”)

Nice!, the nicest comedy show in Brooklyn is proud to present an XX chromosome edition of our monthly show Sunday, June 13th at 8pm @ Legion @ Legion Bar!

THIS MONTH’S SPECIAL LINEUP:

* M.A.D! (Mackenzie Condon, Abra Taback, & D’arcy Erokan; of Gentrify Brooklyn & LandlineTV’s Hello Dum-Dum!)
* SARA SCHAEFER! (of Late Night w. Jimmy Fallon & Best Week Ever!)
* ILANA GLAZER & ABBI JACOBSON! (of Broad City & UCBT’s High School Talent Show!)
* KELLY HUDSON! (of KAPE & Seinfeld!)

with your hosts, the sisters-be-doin’-it-for-themselves, Dan Chamberlain & Halle Kiefer!

Now, LAST show, Legion had a full, FREE pre-show BBQ spread- no joke!- but as we’ve yet to get confirmation on that happening again, you can count on another SUPER SECRET* FUN GIVE-A-WAY! So come on out on SUNDAY THE 13TH for the best FREE show FREE that has FREE FREE FREE ever asked your father for permission to marry you.

*This may or may not be** promotional posters for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

**(It will be.)